For two people
You're not asking for much. You're asking for different things.
One of you wants more affection. The other wants planned time together. In a Pact, you each commit to your own thing — and quietly keep each other honest. Your partner sees status, never your numbers.
You say
“My partner and I want to feel more connected”
Committo builds
Relationships
Reach for them first
Choose your target
Affection on most days
EasierReach for them first, daily
RecommendedDaily affection + a weekly date
Challenge+ one link invites Alex — they pick their own
Two commitments. One Pact.
Each of you picks what matters to you. You see each other's title, status, and weekly consistency — a Nudge when one falls behind, a Nice when they show up. Never the underlying numbers.
1Commit — each your own
Pact
Week 6 of 12
2See each other's standing — and the weeks
You · Reach for them first
todaydone ✓·cycleOn track
Alex · Plan a date night
behind this week
3The nudge lands
invite with one link·they see status, never your numbers·free, forever
The evidence behind this
We grade what we lean on, and we show the grade. A is settled science; B is real but modest or genuinely contested — we say so rather than quietly leaving it out.
After 85 years and three generations of following the same families, the Harvard study keeps landing on one headline: the quality of your close relationships predicts long-term health and happiness better than money, fame — or your cholesterol at 50.
ASources and the caveat
Sources
- Waldinger & Schulz 2023, The Good Life (Simon & Schuster)
- Waldinger & Schulz 2010, Psychology and Aging 25(2) · doi:10.1037/a0019087
- Diener & Seligman 2002, Psychological Science 13(1) · doi:10.1111/1467-9280.00415
The caveat
One extraordinary cohort plus convergent correlational work — "predictor", not experiment. The cholesterol comparison is the study directors' own summary (book-level), not a single paper's table.
Loneliness isn't just a feeling — chronic loneliness and isolation carry a mortality risk comparable to established physical risk factors. It's why the US Surgeon General declared it an epidemic in 2023.
A-Sources and the caveat
Sources
- Holt-Lunstad et al. 2015, Perspectives on Psychological Science 10(2) · doi:10.1177/1745691614568352
- U.S. Surgeon General advisory 2023 (HHS)
The caveat
Observational; loneliness is subjective — being alone and being lonely are different things, and the coach must never conflate them.